It’s been a few weeks since my last post and that’s because I’ve been in the toddler trenches. My beautiful newly-turned 3 year old, Emerson, has been sick with one virus after another, which, I’m told, is common for children of this age. Only problem is, that means no time to write, and TOO much time to surf the internet for shoes (writing requires some semblance of concentration; the other I can do with Dora blasting in the background). Case in point: 3 unopened boxes from Zappos (destined to all be returned) sitting by my office chair (Well, come to think of it, I’ll most likely keep the Elizabeth & James pair- been dying over them since they hit the stands). So, what, exactly, is the point of this post? you are probably wondering as you drag your mouse to click OFF spiritandsole and onto The Huffington Post...? Allow me to share:
It’s about the dichotomy between what’s important and what’s frivolous. And where the two intersect. And how the later sometimes acts as a numbing cream or boo-boo buddy or chocolate syrup coating for the former—that is, when the former is distressing, painful, anxiety-inducing, and/or any of the trying emotions that come with real-life stressful situations.
I’ve been pondering this discrepancy and how, whenever I get supremely stressed about the “things that matter,” I tend to default my energy towards the things that don’t (Well, at least the things that do not matter quite as much... Because you can’t tell me that a superbly fitting pair of slimming-low-waisted Current/Elliot flares do not matter at all). And I’ve come to a few conclusions about the Everyday Girl’s tendency to shop when stressed:
- IT’S OK. It’s okay to want to distract the brain from situations that are painful. That’s normal. And often times, HEALTHY. It’s called SUBLIMATION. So go ahead girl and channel that negative energy into something creative and positive (even if that means going online and piecing together your dream ensemble from various websites including shopbop, Planet Blue, and Neimans).
- THIS TOO SHALL PASS. And no matter what it is, you will most likely end up looking back at the stressful situation with some level of nostalgia (Um, hello mommies who anguish over sleepless nights with new born babes and then look back when the kid is off to kindergarten, tearing up over how it was just yesterday they were changing the kid’s poopy diapies at 3am).
- PHILANTHROPY works wonders for all involved. Satisfy your deep seated need to shop while giving to others. When things get rough in your life, I know the tendency is to take, but did you ever consider how great it might make you feel to give to others? Case(s) in point:
- TOMS Shoes. Buy a pair, and they donate a pair. If you haven't heard of or seen these yet, please, crawl out of your lady-cave. They're not only a fundamentally phenomenal cause, but are the super trend right now in Summer 2011 fashion.
- Donating to a favorite charity or someone running/walking for a cause (The MS Society is my recipient of choice and I recently donated to the campaigns of two childhood friends walking for this cause. I can assure you, you've never met a girl who gets a greater high off of that Piperlime box arriving at my doorstep, but the thrill of GIVING to this cause surpasses even that. I'd give everything to find a cure).
- Lucky Magazine always lists designers and companies who give proceeds of their sales to charity.
Give yourself a break and know that sometimes, its okay to buy when all you really want to do is cry. Then remember, giving IS getting, so buy for others or rather, GIVE to others, and some of those problems that have been weighing you down, well... they might just take a hike.